Float Em or Flush Em: Week 3 by Turd Ferguson

Float em or flush em will go through each squad to identify an unheralded player who should start for the week or a player that needs to ride the pine.

The Slowskies:
Float em: Miami - Suck it up and go against your gut this week. Minnesota’s D is not as dominant as it once was and Detroit’s Offense has improved drastically with the play of stars Calvin Johnson and Jahvid Best. Miami is the second highest scoring Defense thus far and they are playing against a Jets offense that has yet to prove themselves. Expect the Fins to hit Sanchez in the mouth a few time and cause a couple turnovers.

Drinking a Forte:
Float em: Devin Hester - Hester seems to have finally grasped the Wideout position. He is the #1 option in Chicago. Forget about Meachem, who is the 3rd option in NO, and insert Hester in to your lineup.

Schul:
Flush em: Carnell Williams - The Steelers Defense is scary good. There will be little to no room to run, so don’t expect Cadillac to get out of first gear.

Clever Team Name:
Float em: Derrick Mason - The revamped Ravens Offense was embarrassed last week, with Flacco throwing for 4 INTs. Expect the Ravens to come out to prove last week was an aberration and rack up the points versus an unimposing Browns D.

Karma Wheel:
Flush em: Shonn Greene - Why do you still have this fool on your roster. The only way Greene will become a player worthy of a roster spot is if LT goes down with an injury. Just suck it up, admit your second round pick is a complete bust and drop the guy. 

Ricky’s blunt force:
Float em: Legadu Naanee - The Chargers offense is starting to fins a rhythm. San Diego will continue to roll this week against the Seahawks, members of the NFC Worst division. Naanee should get plenty of looks this week.

The Bedwetters:
Flush em: Demaryius Thomas - Thomas was a quality waiver wire pickup. However, it would be foolish to bench Malcom Floyd for Thomas this week. Thomas is going up against the Colts, who love to get after the QB and are good at it. Cutler is not known for making great throws in the face of pressure. Floyd is going against a sub par Seahawk Defense and is part of an offense that loves to throw the ball. Don’t be a fool.

Weiner:
Float em: Mike Thomas - With Mike Sims-Walker getting most of the attention, the sure handed Thomas has been the beneficiary of single coverage. The Eagles gave up plenty of yards last week. Bench the underperforming Mike Wallace in favor of Thomas this week. Or bank on Charlie Batch throwing to one of your receivers. Your Choice.

Gentle Turtles:
Flush em: Brett Favre - Favre needs to figure it out soon. He looks like an old man out there. Freeman is your QB of the future, but not a good start vs. the Steelers. I do not see a viable QB option for the Gentle Turtles this week. Look in to the waiver wire. Get your shit together or hope your strong core of backs and receivers can carry you through the week.

The Bear Jews:
Float em: Darren McFadden - The Cardinals got torched by the run last week against the Falcons 3rd string back. McFadden is the clear number 1 in Oakland. Barring an unforeseen injury, expect McFadden to fin the holes in the Cardinals Swiss Cheese Defense.

Breaston Plants:
Float em: Jay Cutler - Cutler may finally be grasping Mike Martz’s offense. The offense runs through Cutler. Even most of the ‘run’ plays are quick passes. Cutler gets credit for everything. Play the man.

Cleveland Steamers:
Flush em: Mike Williams - The Steelers do not give up many Touchdowns. Don’t expect to get one here. You have a better chance starting Louis Murphy versus the Cardinals secondary.




Thats it for Week 3.  


Float on,

Turd Ferguson